It was 3:45 pm and I was waiting at the reception lounge area, with the food still in my stomach and my digestive system deciding to crash and not read (accept) any input, my hair placed all over my shoulders (though I had just brushed them) and feeling like tearing off these uncomfortable formal shirt and trousers, the all I could do was sit there, pretending to be the most composed and trying so hard to stick my tummy in, which I thought might stop the jiggling but only made it worse.
This was the time after my two days of grilling round of interviews at ‘ESC Ltd.’ was over and I was waiting for the final results. I had my fingers crossed and all I could do was wait, one of the hardest things to do for me. This was soon to be added to my ‘the first-time’ list, which I only have stored in memory drive and maintain no hard or soft of same.
I had finished my college in June and took a 2 month course to get into the easiest part of the ‘IT;’ world – testing. My interview or should I say interviews has been stretched over two days, the first day was very smooth and I was asked about everything I knew. I walked out with confidence and triumph. I was happy and a little nervous about ‘what’s next?’ It was later that I found nervous was a very small word compared to what I was up for.
It was the technical interview to be taken by a manager, I reached on time and waited for 2 hours until he reached, the co-coordinator told me that his cab was late and so he will come late. This made think of only one thing, ‘his mood’, its like they say about your board examinations, if your examiner is in a good mood you get all your marks, else you’re screwed and no one can help you. It’s strange but many things are dependent on the ‘mood’ of others, here I was the lamb to be butchered. Before the manager arrived, I called Rahul, my college senior and now an employee at ‘ESCLtd.’ Rahul was a total ‘asshole’, apart from the fact that he looked like shit and had a good sense of humor, he was an out and out flirt (I don’t think there are any other types though), anyways, so he came to meet me and gotme a print out of the kind of questions I might be asked. Now this is the first thing that struck me, ‘a print out of what the other person usually has on his mind when taking interviews’, mind it wasn’t all written down somewhere, it was all collected data, put together from a person’s mind onto a print out. Silly I thought, but as long as it helps it’s good.
I sat there listening to Rahul, this was probably the second longest conversation I had with him, the first being my ragging, when he stood only 2 feet away from my face and asked me ‘ Do I want to make any boyfriends in college?’ andwhen I said ‘no’, he asked ‘ what do you think you’ll do in this forest place by yourself’ to which my response came even before I could think ‘ what would I do in this place with the boyfriend?’. Sounds as stupid as it did earlier. So Rahul told me all about the organization and how to brag and show off (which he is an expert at) and then he left me after encouragement, which I didn’t seem to require then but that was only till I had met the interviewer.
He was a short, dwarf if I may say kin dof man, visibly balding, wearing a blank expression anda pair of glasses on his face (you’ll find the most common part of techy people was glasses). He kept a French beard and let me tell you, didn’t even come close to looking like French. He called me into the interview room and asked me to sit. The room was the size of a cubicle, it was brightly lit and there were some artificial plants at one corner. Now why do we need the artificial flowers, it just adds up to the inhuman feeling the place has, like everything needs to perfect at all times, the people, the work, the flower. God! Well I was trying so hard to be calm. He asked for my resume and I passed it to him. It tookhim only 10 seconds to spot my weakness out of it and throw it in front of me.
“C huh? You have done a project in C”,
I couldn’t decide whether it was a question or comment, I answered anyways
“well yes, but it was long time back, I think in my first year”.
He looked at me with the same blank expression and I knew this wasn’t going to be easy at all.
“Anyways” he said “you always remember the basics”,
I was again not sure of the question or comment dilemma and started slurring.
“Yes, but I’ve not, you know haven’t much and “
”Can you tell me the……………………………………?” ,
So what should I answer ‘I can’t', I tried to remember the word he was using, what it was and how I could say anything, just anything related to it, but my mind and otherwise sharp memory failed. I thought no point embarrassing yourself anymore, just be honest.
“Actually I don’t remember C, haven’t been in touch. I have done a course for testing and you can ask me anything about it”, there I threw a challenge at him and he didn’t even listen to what I said.
He went through my resume again and caught my second lie, “So you did training for Website applications?”
I blabbered immediately “Yes, it was only for 6 weeks, we only got to do documentation work”
“What documentation”
“Like we got the text that was supposed to be on the site and we needed to cross check if it was correctly uploaded”
He gave me that look, that lookyou give someone who is holding a pair of stilettos and calling it chappals, that look. I was holding on to my confidence, yes these are chappals, definitely!
“Ok” he said
“So, tell me the format that is used for all the documentations of websites”
“Format? We used to get the document in word only”
“Word?, no – no there is a format used for dot net files documentation tell me that”
“I don’t remember, we only got word file and had to compare them to the actual text on site”
“Its ‘text’ format, that is the only format used”
“Oh, ok” I said, like I had learned something new and will never forget it. We ll actually I didn’t forget it but it never helped me either.
“Do you know SQL?”
“Yes” I answered so confidently and regretted it the next minute.
He moved onto asking me many other questions on databases and SQL, he used terms I has once heard, learnt, scrabbled on the paper and forgotten for good. This is how I had completed my B.Tech. Learning the toughest subject and mastering it, teaching it to everyone (made me revise it thoroughly), pass my exam with good marks and then I would just forget it all. Notintentionally but it wasn’t my interest that’s all. If you ask me about a book I had read years back it will only take 2 mins to tell you what it was. The irony of my life an artistic software Engineer I am, and the two (artist and engineer) near seem to meet.
After about asking me many questions which I only answered half or quarters and sometime murmured the question again and again pretending to know but have forgotten, I think he got tired too. He moved to other reasoning questions and asked me all types of puzzles, some I solved some I didn’t, he finally took my challenge that I placed earlier and moved to testing. He gave me scenario to fetch all cases we would test and said he would be back in 5 minutes. I looked at the question and completed it. This is how I have been all my life, master at the present skill and forgetting all my past ones. He came back and cross questioned the relevance of my answer. He couldn’t find one wrong and told me that we’ll meet again in an hour and I could take my lunch. Ya as if I could eat anything now. Anyways before leaving the room he also said with the same blank expression on his face ‘ I wouldn’t have called you again, if you hadn’t got this right” and left the room.
My heartbeat slowed down and hunger died (i hate not to want ot eat). I knew I was on the border and now I had to make it to the other side. I moved out of the room and went to the reception area. I dialed Farique’s number and told him I was free for lunch. AS soon as I disconnected the call Ravi’s number flashed on my cell. Just his name was enough to make me feel disgusted and yet I picked the call, this was one day I was fooling myself, behaving like all those selfish people who pretend to be polite while they actually hate you, I felt little disgusted and helpless at the same time.
“You over with the interview”, even his voice sounded cheap to me.
“Ya, we’ have one more round after lunch”
“Ok, is Fariquejoining you for lunch”
“Yes, he’ll be her in 5 minutes”
“Ok, lets go someplace nice, I hate the food here’
Crap he’s going to come with us for lunch, dealing with him for another hour, another hour was guilt, disgust and helplessness.
“Ya sure”
“Alright, I’ll be there in a second” and yes he hardly took a second to reach to me.
I gave a sheepish smile, the kind when you want to slap the first person who comes in front of you and blame them for the wrong in your life.
” So how did it go?”
“ok, not great actually too many technical questions nothing about testing”
“well the manager will ask technical questions only, whats wrong you look so gloomy”
“Nothing” I said, I wished it has gone well” I really didn’t want to talk and not to him at least.
” its not over right now, I know you’ll get through”" what did the guy say before you left?”
“He said because you answered the last one correctly that’s why I am calling you for 2nd round”
“Really?” he was half smiling and half sympathizing. Jerk!
“Ya,” I said. Why did I always have to be so honest, why didn’t I lie or just say something and made the question disappear.
“So what you havethe next round na”
“Hmm”
We went downstairs and Farique was there. He asked me how it went and I repeated the same conversation as with rahul.
“Its gona be ok” he said
“So what do you want to eat?”
“I don’t know you guys decide”
“I can’t have pizza” Rahul said
“So then what?”
“You say”
“Anything will do”
“Ok, I’ll order some pau bhaji and some sandwiches for you”
“Ya that’s fine”
The guys went away to get the food from the self service cente and i sat there wondering what was coming next. the thought of leaving and running cam to me but that was far more humilating that what i would face.
The next 2 hours of interview were as grilling as earlier, but this time the manager had decided to take the HR questions area, although still maintaining the ‘Blank look’. He moved from ’strengths’ to ‘weaknesses’ to ‘justify why you should be accepted?’, till i had thoroughly exhausted my impressive vocabulary and was only left with the not-so-impressive words. He decided to stop and said I should wait at the reception for the result. I thanked him politely and he said i needn’t as he will not be the only person to take the decision.
I am Nisha Singh, 22 years old, software test Engineer, part of ESC Ltd from past 15months, single, living with family, drink occassionally, quit smoking, total friends enough to be counted on fingertips, love life has ceased to exist and no matter how much i try to balance the scales of my life, i am always ‘too much’ on either side and this is my story.
